


Family Is...

by thefierydagger



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Family, Gen, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 05:38:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11178192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefierydagger/pseuds/thefierydagger
Summary: Never enough.





	Family Is...

If there is anything Draco Malfoy has learned from the Second Wizarding War, it is that family is never enough. It was not enough for Lucius Malfoy to break away from Lord Voldemort. It was not enough for the Blacks to accept Sirius, Andromeda, Tonks. It is not enough to stop the constant screaming in Draco’s mind.

_ Over _ , he repeats in his head everyday. The horror of cold, unfeeling Death Eaters crawling all over the family manor, the terror of the Dark Mark appearing like thick smoke on his arm, like a permanent brand marking him  _ unworthy, superior, nothing but a pawn. _ Gone are those days.  _ Over,  _ he repeats. Family can take precedence now, he thought. Mother, Father, Draco, and that portrait of Grandfather can finally have peace.

_ Over, _ also, are the days where Draco still thinks in such terms. Where a portrait of a severe blonde man with the long sheet of hair conjured up feelings of love, safety, instead of just a name. Lucius Malfoy. And Mother… Draco finds it best not to think about Mother these days.

Family was enough for him, once.

Draco used to be able to get what he wanted with a careless mention of his heritage. Now, it’s a blackened curse, a contemptible insult.  _ Malfoy  _ will never be enough for the Wizarding world ever again.

The worst moments are when he turns off the lights and retires to bed. Just late enough for the incessant thoughts to reach full volume, too early for the calming potion to set in. Everything silent so his brain can overcompensate. Flashes of Mother’s painful, desperate utterances of his name,  _ Draco, Draco, my boy, I am so sorry…  _ Voldemort’s clammy skin as he claws him into an imitation of an embrace, Elder Wand just beyond his vision… The touch of a wand on his forearm still lingering as he points his own at Dumbledore… Snape’s voice, faraway in the darkness of his chest cut wide open… Crabbe’s shrieks as the flames engulf him…

In those moments, Draco cannot breathe, and Mother’s gentle words cannot wake him from his mind.

Draco cannot, for a single second, recall family as a benevolent thing. Perhaps the War had momentarily obscured his memories, made family a much better concept than is reality. And now he emerges from a nightmare to a crushing disappointment. Rinse and repeat.

But there are a hundred memories of Mother’s crinkled eyes, Lucius’ slow smile. A brush of a hand on Draco’s shoulders, careful hands ruffling his hair. Draco thinks it hurts because family had once been enough. Now he thinks he has outgrown it.


End file.
